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The beautiful....the vicious.....the ungodly sexy beast MR_HIPPA'S PAGE!!! No wait this is Rex. Zomasaurus_Rex. Shaken, not stirred.


Many, many years ago, the wails of a female Zomasaurus was heard. Cutting through the horizon was her prominant childbirth cries, echoing across vast mountains and rippling the seas with her contracting vagina. Wait, too far back.

From the distant northern plains of Whosville lay a majestic, albeit quiet herd. The Zomasaurii, the last of its kind (poachers want our wood =[) settled here, as the faint trickle of jingle bells lulled our eardrums. What is this, you ask? The bells on top of the spawn tower of Amish Paradise's third map of course! Or whatever the snowy one was. My herd buddy zomasaurus3 and I were the most eager of our tribe to enjoy the merry harvest of such sweet sounds, however, our group was a much more timid force. Our chief, Zomasaurus1, forbade any contact with these bells but as music lovers (did you know zomasaurus3 plays guitar outside minecraft? pretty cool huh) we could not obey this order! So, casting our previous lives aside, we trudged onward until the sight of Amish Paradise: Extreme Edition lingered on the horizon.

Amish Paradise: Extreme Edition

It was this map that we truly made our debut. Our beginnings were humble, to say the least. Creepers rained on us like chocolate. It was a hardship we endured and thrived in, however. We made several different bases, each with limited success. I had sensed something wrong with zomasaurus3, however; he seemed to partake in the killing of fresh mobs with eager amusement, an entirely different side of him than the bashful herd member I once knew. He even spoke of murder, to other players in this land. I had no idea how to quell this swelling thirst for blood.

Our lives were forever altered on that fateful day, however. Names renounced across the land gathered together at midnight, on the full moon, in spawn. Among them, squinting my eyes through the powdery white I could see JBHUTT09, LordFritz, Naphemil, that dude with the camera Roobert(or something), and Coyote, among others. I gazed at their gleaming turquoise physique with a squirming envy; I looked down at my well-worn silver.